On The Edge
by Misgiving Writer
Summary: They call her a hero. Saying that she saved them all. That they would all be dead without her sacrifice. So why does Gorsefang now look at her with disgust in his eyes and hate on his tounge?


A/N: Okay, I admit it. I had way too much fun writing this story up. I really hope that everyone here enjoys it! It was written for Waterstar 03's challenge on the Warriors Challenge Forum; one titled Whispers Whisking on the Wind.

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This is it, I find myself thinking, this is how it ends_._

I stand on the edge of the gorge, only whisker-lengths away from the drop. Below me, the dark waters churn forcefully. The current is strong and it is wild and it is uncontrollable. Just like always. Just like I hoped it would be. There are few cats in any of the clans that could survive a fall into those waters - and those few cats belong to RiverClan, not WindClan like I do.

In fact, I have always feared the water. I still do. Merely the sight of the river below makes the dark brown fur along my spine rise. I have to close my eyes to keep myself from backing away, because, right now, I can't afford to move.

So I just close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to ignore the rising doubt that niggles at the back of my mind.

The wind is nothing more than a gentle breeze, barely enough to ruffle my fur. I wish that it was stronger. Harsh winds have always made me feel more alive. Feel more like a warrior and less like the crippled cat that I really am. In fact, when the wind is strong enough, I can almost pretend that I'm still normal.

_"Are you finished checking that border, Hawkflight?" Gorsefang asks, swishing his tail in the direction of the bush that I just came out of._

_I nod at him and let out a purr. "It's all clear, Gorsefang. No cat has set a paw over that border."_

_He nods at me - and I can tell that he's trying to stay proffesional. He never wants to act as though we're mates when we're outside of the camp. Sometimes, depending on what cat is around, he won't even acknowledge me as his mate in the camp. But he's WindClan's deputy, so I understand that he shouldn't show me any partiality._

_"We should get back to camp. I still have to set up the Dusk Patrol and you need to go out hunting." Gorsefang says._

_He starts to turn around but I prance in front of him and force him to back-step. Still purring, I swish my tail at him. "We should race."_

_"Excuse me?" He stutters, and the look on his face is one of disbelief._

_"We should race." I repeat, because I'm used to him trying not to have any fun. "Back to camp, I mean."_

_For a moment, I think he's going to argue with me. Then he lets out a sigh and gives me a half-hearted nod. "Fine. We'll race. But only to the entrance, understand?"_

_"Of course, of course." I roll my eyes at him and move so that we're standing shoulder to shoulder. He counts but I announce the start - and we both streak across the mooreland._

_I love to run. I'm free when I run. The wind aids my steps and pushes me on, giving me speed like it gives no other cat in my clan. It's strong today and the gusts cause my dark tabby fur to flatten down. Flattening my ears against my head, I tuck my nose towards my chest and I let my instincts and memory of our territory take over. They tell me when to jump and when to turn and where the ground dips._

_It's amazing - and there are truly no other words to describe it._

Today, I can't pretend. The fact that I am not the same as the others cats of WindClan, and that I never again will be, digs into me like a thorn. Not because my twisted legs hurt more today than other days. No, I have gotten used to that pain. That constant throb that starts at my paws and then runs up my legs, twisting and slicing and burning, lacing through my spine and just filling my entire body with fire.

But I always feel like that. Featherdust, our medicine cat, says that I always will. She says that something went wrong when my body tried to heal itself and that's why every step hurt me. Featherdust also says that she has never heard of a cat living when all four of their legs have been broken and they have been mauled as badly as I have been.

She says it's a miracle. That I should be proud of the scars now covering my body and the twists and kinks in my legs. That it means I'm strong - and she isn't the only one to say that, either. My sister, Eaglesong, also tells me that. So does our leader, Brackenstar, and the elders that I now live with. Many of the warriors have come to say words along those lines too; they tell me that I am stronger then most cats and that they appreciate what I did for our clan.

Their words don't matter to me, though, and I have to force my eyes open again so that the memories stop. I take a deep breath and move a little closer to the edge of the gorge, though my eyes are focused on the stretch of RiverClan land on the other side, rather than the rapids that lay beneath my paws.

"This is where it all goes down." I say, and my voice sounds so odd. Harsh and rasping, damaged by the fangs that ripped through my throat in the past.

_"Dogs." Brackenstar hisses, and he flattens his ear as he does. "That's what has invaded our clan. There are three that we've been able to track down."_

_Horrified yowls rise up from the clan-mates gathered at his paws. I am no different and I let out my own yowl of terror - because a dog is everycat's biggest fear. They are large and they are strong and they are vicious. _

_"A whole pack of them?" Sandpetal demands, her light tan hackles raised._

_Brackenstar nods. "They've made their home on the far edge of our territory, closest to Mother Mouth."_

_Beside me, Juniperpelt stands up. I can smell the fear-scent coming off of him in waves, but his voice is filled with nothing but anger. "They're responsible for our prey going missing!"_

_Brackenstar gives a sharp nod and goes to speak again but Berrybloom, a beautiful cream she-cat interrupts him. Her light amber eyes are as cold as the winds of leaf-bare, her voice just as sharp. "Are they responsible for killing my kit?"_

_Sorrow laces my heart when Brackenstar gives another nod. Owlpaw had been a brave apprentice, and the mangled form of her body had left the entire clan reeling. I remember being sent on a patrol to find what attacked her, but rain had washed away all scents but her own._

_"They are the ones who murdered Owlpaw and they are the reason that our prey has been vanishing." Brackenstar states. His eyes shine with determination but are tainted with the same pang of loss that we all feel. "And we must chase them from our territory before more cats are lost to them!"_

_"How?" I demand. I'm not thinking about the fact that I'm addressing my leader when the question bursts out. All I'm thinking about is that WindClan has never had to deal with something like this, that the last time any clan had to was back in the days of Tigerstar. I have always thought that tale to be just a myth. _

_Brackenstar doesn't seem angry when he answers me. "We'll lead them away."_

_"To where?" Frostclaw asks, and there is honest curiousity in his eyes._

_"Out of our territory. Towards the mountains." Brackenstar closes his eyes. "As far from our moore as we can lead them."_

_Silence reigns for a moment and then Raccooneye joins me at the front of the clan. He is a senior warrior and will be retiring this moon but he is still respected by all of our cats. "Who will be leading them away from the camp, Brackenstar? Have you decided yet?"_

_"I have, if they will accept the task." Brackenstar meows, voice solemn. "Flashstreak, Raindapple, Berrybloom, Breezeheart, and Leafstorm will start the run. Then I will lead them further from the camp. Hawkflight will be the last cat to run."_

_I am the first one to speak and, like the others, I stand up when I do. "I would be honoured to help, Brackenstar. I promise you that I will lead them as far from here as I can."_

_He nods and a surge of glee shoots through me as I realize that there is pride in his gaze._

_The meeting breaks up shortly after that, and I follow Raccooneye over to the fresh-kill pile. I choose a lanky hare and settle down only a couple of paw-steps away. The dark grey tom lays down beside me._

_Without thinking, I nudge the hare closer to where he sits. "Would you like to share, Raccooneye?"_

_He shakes his head and pushes the piece of prey back in front of me. "Thank you for the offer, Hawkflight, but you eat it. You are going to need all of your energy for the run tonight."_

_I dip my head slightly in gratitude before taking the first bite. It is sweet in my mouth, tender and moist, but still I have issues getting it down. I am too nervous to eat peacefully._

_Neither of us speak until the entire hare is gone. Then the older tom looks at me - and I can't remember ever seeing that look before. Sorrow? Compassion? Fear? It takes a moment for me to realize that it is none of those. It is trust. Complete and utter trust._

_"Brackenstar is gathering the cats to leave." He states, then he pushes himself to his paws with a slight grunt._

_"Thank you for eating with me, Raccooneye." I say, then I too get to my paws. I push a little bit of sand over the bones of my prey but don't take much time to bury it before I pad over to the exit of our camp. _

_The dark grey tom walks with me, stopping just before he gets to the gathered group of cats. I turn to look at him, nothing but a simple goodbye on my tounge, but he speaks first._

_"Run swiftly, Hawkflight, and come back safe." Raccooneye tells me. Then he dips his head, a sign of respect, and walks away._

_I am surprised that he has taken the time to wish me, and not our leader or any other cat, safety. I am more surprised the Gorsefang wishes our leader luck and does not even look in my direction. _

_Brackenstar orders us to leave before I can walk over and say goodbye. I have no choice but to turn and follow him out onto the moore._

_The night is cool and the wind a pleasent breeze. With the light of Silverpelt shining down on us, the eyes of our ancestors, our treck is an easy one. I walk beside Berrybloom and, though we don't actually say it out loud, I know that she is thinking the same thing as me._

_StarClan is going to guide us to safety._

_That sole thought is what circulates through my mind as our patrol slowly splits up. Raindapple first, and then Flashstreak. Breezeheart, then Leafstorm, and then Berrybloom. Brackenstar is the last cat to leave me, and when he does he wishes me luck._

_I travel alone for what seems like the longest time - but the stars still shine down on me and the knowledge that StarClan is watching me chases away my fears. I crouch in a bush of dark green leaves while I wait for my turn to come._

_It is signaled by a loud yowl and the noise of large paws thundering down onto the ground. I burst out of the bush as soon as my leader, panting and with eyes filled with fear, comes into sight. _

_"Hide!" He screeches. "Hide!"_

_I'm confused for a moment. What does he mean hide? Shouldn't he be telling me to run? Then I catch sight of the dogs. They are large and slender things, with black and brown pelts and intelligent brown eyes. Their tounges are lolling and slobber flies from their mouths as they run, muscles rippling with each step. And there are more than three. In the few heartbeats that I stand there, frozen, I can count six but I hear the growls of more that have not yet reached me._

_Brackenstar shoots past me, flinging himself to my left and at a pile of boulders. He has barely squeezed between them, out of reach of the snapping jaws, when the order comes again._

_For the first time in my life, I defy my leader._

_When I turn and start to run, it is not towards the boulder. It is away from them. On the path that I had been instructed to run in the beginning. My heart sounds like thunder in my ears and the wind rushes between my legs, pushing me foreward and away from the pack of blood-thirsty dogs. The coarse tufts of grass scrape my pads as I run and sand stings my eyes, but I don't stop. I can't. Not when it is my clan that is on the line - and, really, we are still close enough to our territory that the dogs could easily find their way back to us._

_As I run, I am only vaguely aware of my surroundings. The noise of the dogs is ever-present, but everything else is a blurr. I don't know how far I have gone, only that the ground beneath my paws has turned to stone. Yet something tells me to keep running. To go until I can literally go no more, until there is barely enough strength left in my legs to get away from the angry pack behind me._

_And they are angry. I can tell by how they have started snarling as they run. They are furious that they have not caught me yet. _

_It is almost directly after that thought passes through my mind that I take a wrong step. Something hard and sharp digs into my left forepaw and I trip, falling face first into the hard rock that I am running on. I feel the hair ripped out of my muzzle as I skid across the ground and I try to get back up. To push myself to my paws and flee - but I am not quick enough._

_Large, yellowed fangs sink into my side and I screech in pain. Blood bursts from the wounds and coats my fur, staining it almost black. I swing around and swipe at the dog that has bitten me, catching him across the eye. With a strangled yelp, he flings me away from him. I hit the ground hard, my right hindleg bundled beneath my body. There is a horrible sound when I land and the pain that rushes up that leg is almost blinding. _

_I don't know how I manage to get up again but I know that I will not be able to run fast enough to get away from the pack. So I fluff out my fur and draw my lips back in a snarl, ears flat against my head._

_"You made a mistake attacking my clan!" I tell them, though I know that they can't understand me and that, even if they could, it is an empty threat. There wouldn't be a chance of me defeating one dog on my own, let alone the seven that have gathered before me._

_StarClan is still shining down on me when I fling myself at the dog closest to me, claws out and hatred shining in my eyes. I dig my claws into the dogs shoulder and sink my fangs into its neck. When it thrashes, I hang on with all I've got._

_I am not expecting a second dog to lunge at my while I am there, latching onto my uninjured hindleg and hauling me off of his pack-mate. Like the dog that had me earlier, this one hurls me onto the stone ground. Unlike the first dog, he doesn't give me a chance to even attempt getting to my paws. He just comes at me, digging his sharp teeth into my back._

_After that, all that I know is pain. They toss my around as though I am nothing more than a play-thing for them. Large, blunt nailed paws slam down on my back and my legs. Thorn-like teeth dig into my body, tearing skin and ripping flesh as they pick me up and toss me into the air. _

_Fire engulfs me and I can do nothing but wish for death. Wish for a cat of StarClan to come and collect me, taking me away from this horrible place._

_None comes. Only more snapping jaws and more agony. It is a blessing when I am no longer awake to feel them destroying me._

They call me a hero. They say that, without me, the dogs would have surely come back to the camp. That if I hadn't lead them so far away, far enough that they almost didn't find me, then they would all be dead by now.

I don't believe their words.

"If I'm such a hero, then why did he say that?" I demand.

Of course, there is no one around to answer. I prefer it that way. Cats have a hard time understanding me talk now and having to repeat myself all the time is so tiring. It is easier to just come out here, to the gorge, and speak to the wind. It has always been there for me, after all, treating me as though I am special.

"Why would he say that he doesn't love me anymore? Shouldn't being a hero make him love me more, not less?" I demand of the wind. I already know the answer though. Gorsefang doesn't love me now because of how I look. Because I am no longer a use to the clan. Nothing more than a mouth that he has to worry about feeding.

This ache that courses through me today? The one that overpowers even the constant pain of my injuries? This is what 'I don't love you' feels like.

And it's horrible because it isn't night out. It isn't raining. There is no storm. No, the sun is bright and the sky is clear and it is like the whole world is laughing at me. Telling me that this is what I deserve.

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes. Let my paws guide me as close to the edge as I can go. And then I pick my paw up again, ready to take another step even though there is nothing but air in front of me.

Someone shouting my name stops me - and for a moment I think that it is Gorsefang, coming to apologize and take me back. When I turn around though, my paws moving awkwardly and my legs stiff from standing in one place for so long, it is not Gorsefang that I see. It is Raccooneye.

"Hawkflight!" He repeats, and there is pain in his voice. "Don't! Don't just give up, not now!"

I'm surprised. I didn't think any cat would really miss me. They say that I'm a hero but I still see the looks of disgust that cross their faces when they look at me. In a way, it makes sense that he is the one who came here. He is the one that has helped me heal, after all, the one that has devoted countless days to helping me relearn how to do everything. Chew, talk, stand, walk - I would still be bound to a nest in Featherdust's den if it weren't for him.

Still, I find myself trying to pull what remains of my lip into a snarl. "Why shouldn't I?"

I expect there to be hurt in his eyes. Or even anger. Instead, the only thing I see in his gaze is sorrow.

"Because you've come too far to give up now." He tells me. "And because I'll miss you if you leave."

It's as though someone has pushed me into a cold stream. Ice rushes through my veins and my left eye widens. The right one is too scarred to open more than half-way. He'll miss me?

Unbidden, my mind flashes back to before I left camp to go on that run. When Gorseclaw would not look at me. Then later, when he told me that he didn't love me anymore. That isn't what I thought goodbye would be like. But...Maybe it is a good thing that it happened that way? Maybe this is a new beginning. A new life for me. A better one.

Even though the sun is still shining as I stumble my way towards Raccooneye, I feel as though StarClan is looking down on me.


End file.
